Not Another Pokemon Odyssey!
by Livrehero
Summary: This is a tale of a 32 year old lawyer begrudgingly starting out on his very own Pokemon journey with the girl of his fantasy, his niece, and her friend. What adventures (and misadventures) will they discover out in the amazing world of Pokemon.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon in any way or form, not the creatures or the information on the creatures, not the franchise, not characters which existed before this story, and not the towns or geographical areas. I only own this story which is all that is original to it._

_This story is more Americanized than most Pokémon fan fiction._

Today will be horrible; what reasonable 32 year old lawyer from Castelia City would head off on a Pokémon journey? Over a girl! None. I had finally gone crazy.

Two weeks ago while talking to Kai, this beautiful 25 year old assistant at my law firm, I told her about how my niece, Abby, and her friend Kyle would be heading off on their Pokémon journey soon. She then told me how her parents wouldn't let her go on a Pokémon journey citing the importance of education. The irony of her being ending up as an assistant made me laugh. I told her how I had chosen to stay home and further my education while my brother, Mathew, went on his journey he even became a gym leader, but, he quit when his wife had their first child.

I wasn't surprised when she asked me if I ever wish that I went on the journey instead, it was something all non-trainers asked each-other I answered honestly "only on occasion." Kia must had taken that to mean 'I'm thinking that right now' because she came up with a disastrous idea, "Charlie I have the perfect idea why don't we go on a Pokémon journey with Abby and her friend we can make sure they are safe and have that experience we missed out on as kids." I, distracted by the beautiful caramel woman in front of me, agreed, high off the thought of my pale self sharing a tent with her.

Why didn't I think about how much I hate the outdoors?

Why didn't I think about the fact she would probably pack her own tent?

And why didn't I think that I was a **32** years old and had a job?

So after two weeks of web searching, mapping, and planning I ended up here wide awake at 7 in the morning in Nuvema town at my brother's house charging our electric mopeds and booking rooms at a hotel. Kai slept in the spare bed that used to be my nephew, Tyler's room, while I slept on the lumpy couch. Karen, my sister in-law, woke up around 9 to make breakfast for us. I never really cared for the 'know it all' she always reported everything to my mother, she seemed to be under the illusion Kia was with me for my money, but unfortunately Kia wasn't with me period.

"So is this going to be deducted from your vacation days" she snooped.

"No, last week I quit."

"What! Have you thought this through Charles How will you make money? You aren't a kid or a twenty something anymore!"

"Well unlike you I have worked for the past 15 years, I've saved money and made investments."

"But what when the money runs out?"

"I guess… I will have to sell my body. You know? I might become the first touring prostitute, I wonder are there any awards for?"

With that she sighed, and we waited in silence. Her counting the seconds till she could call my mother, while I regretted ever agreeing to this Pokémon Journey. It was about an hour till everyone trickled down from up stairs dressed and ready to start their journey. Kia looked hot in her black t-shirt and blue jeans looking at her I remember why I woke up at 7 AM. My brother came down with his badge case showing Abby and Kia his badges each taking turns complimenting the designs of them and how shiny they were (oh women so easily amused by shiny objects.) Mathew also pulled out his pokeball tossing it in the air releasing Charzard in a beam of light. The large orange quasi-dragon looked bored and disinterested in the two girls talking to it in baby style gibberish. Seeing the Pokémon's annoyance Mathew returned him to his pokeball with that they finally finished. We could eat; Karen may be annoying she is an amazing cook.

"So how does it feel to be 10 years old" Kia asked Abby as we finished.

"Amazing this is my first step to being a Pokémon master" she answered naively, we all laughed.

"Well we got you presents" Kia said pulling a pokeball out her purse "we have a friend who is a Pokémon professor in Castelia City." Abby nearly erupting with excitement receiving the ball with about 50 "thank you's" she pressed down on it causing it to expand and then with a flick of her wrist tossed it unleashing a blast of light and there stood a small green Pokémon with a tan underside and yellow stripe on it's back.

"A SNIVY" she yelled with excitement scaring the poor creature "Thank you so much Ms. Kia" she said hugging Kia. "Your welcome your uncle has something for you too" Kia gestured to me and I reached in my back pack and removed a Pokédex "here you go" I laughed as she squealed with excitement. "Thank you uncle Charlie." "Well test it out" Mathew said and she turned on the small gray and pink device then she pointed at her brand new Pokémon.

"Snivy, the Grass Snake Pokémon. Cool, calm, and collected, Snivy uses photosynthesis to collect energy with the leaf on its tail" the device read.

Then in walked Kyle, his hair had grown longer about to shoulders link since last I saw him, behind his glasses his squinted eyes seem to buzz around the room with excitement. "Hey Abby" he said coming to the table "oh come sit down" Karen said pulling up a chair at the table for the Asian boy. "Cool Snivy I don't have a Pokémon yet though" he said touching the three point leaf tail on the Pokémon. "We have something for you" Kia basically gushed removing another pokeball from her purse. Following her cue I removed another Pokédex.

The boy had the same reaction as Abby squealing out thank you and he unleashed his Pokémon. A small orange and black piglet with bunny-esque ears and an orb on the end of his tail appeared onto the table. "Tepig" the Pokémon exclaimed and in no time Kyle had his Pokédex reading out "Tepig, the Fire Pig Pokémon. Normally, fire shoots out of Tepig's snout, but it shoots out smoke instead when it is feeling ill." "Thanks Ms. Kia and Mr. Charlie" the boy said hugging Kia then me.

"Oh" Karen said looking at me and Kia. "Mathew and I got you two Pokémon" Karen exclaimed. She removed two pokeballs and gave one to Kia and one to me "I know you will like mine the best" she said with pride looking at me. Kia released her Pokémon first with a burst a light a purple and cream cat appeared before us its tail had a scythe like tip. I pulled out the two remaining Pokédex in my backpack and handed one to Kia I turned mine on and pointed at the Pokémon

"Purrloin, the Devious Pokémon. Purrloin fools people into letting their guard down so it can steal their possessions. When angered, it uses its claws to fight back."

"It reminded me of you" Karen said.

"Thanks Karen" Kia said as if she didn't grasp the shaded insult Karen implied (I don't know which was more embarrassing).

I tossed my pokeball and as the light subsided there on the table stood the most girly egg-shaped Pokémon possible, with its smooth pink skin and pigtail. The Pokémon had a darker pink lower half was a diaper like pouch. "Happiny, the Playhouse Pokémon. It loves round white things. It carries a round stone in its pouch that looks like an Egg, and gives it to people that it likes" I heard Kyle's Pokédex read. Despite the fact I hated the Pokémon (and person), with a passion I picked up the cheerful Pokémon looked at my sister in-law with the most rubbery smile and said "thank you so much". Then Mathew stood up and handed me and Kia a pokeball "I didn't know what type to get you guys so I gave you my first Unova Pokémon."

Kia released hers and out came an Oshawott with its big white head and light blue body with a shell on his stomach. "Oshawott, the Sea Otter Pokémon. Oshawott attacks and defends using the scalchop that can be removed from its stomach" Abby's Pokédex read out. I threw the pokeball and out came a dark purple and red fox Pokémon with a puff of fur on its head. I heard Kia Pokédex say "Zorua, the Tricky Fox Pokémon. Zorua hides its true form by changing its shape into people and Pokémon, and loves to surprise people." Now this was a cool Pokémon. What the hell was Karen thinking, Happiny better than Zorua? Never! "Now warning a Zorua can be a hand full, they are a real pest sometimes" Mathew said.

"I think you guys better get ready to go" Karen said "No, you should battle" Mathew said with renewed vigor, he stood up and headed outside. "Yeah" Kia agreed standing up and heading outside "Abby and me versus Kyle and Charlie." "Abby and I" Karen corrected "and besides you guys need to head out before Professor Juniper leaves her office." "One little battle won't throw our time off that much Mrs. Grinch" I said and holding Happiny in my arms and Zorua chasing after me I walked outside to join Kia and Mathew. "How about we do two different battles and we let the kids battle then me and you battle" I said to Kia who quickly agreed.

"All right" Mathew said, who must had released Charzard when I wasn't looking because he stood next to the winged lizard. "We began a battle between Champion Abby verses Elite Four Member Kyle" he joked. "Are you ready… get set…battle!" he bellowed followed by a ferociously roar by Charzard. I must say this had to be the worst battle ever imagined two Pokémon jumping around erratically at each other. They sometimes would try to tackle the other one but they were pretty equally pathetic. "Tackle that Tepig" Abby bellowed to her Pokémon who lunged forward only to crash horribly into the ground knocking himself unconscious. Just as Mathew was about to call the match Charzard roared very ceremonially only for the tiny piglet to faint. When everyone had their Pokémon safely inside their balls. Kai and I walked up to our spot. My first battle.


End file.
